Ok, ladies. We all know how convenient wipes are for a plethora of female uses. Makeup remover, keeping in your purse to clean your hands, and of course- keeping the queen clean. Loved the idea of these wipes. Natural, biodegradable, vegan, etc etc. Bought a huge box and was pleased that they had very little scent, weren't weirdly "wet" like most baby wipes. And then... I used them. Good lord, I should never have tried these things on my vag first. No initial problems after using the wipes, but then, after a while, hmmm, i start to feel some heat down there. And not in a good way. Jesus... now it's full on burning. AND ITCHING. omg what the hell is going on with my undercarriage? Do NOT itch it... Do NOT. Nope, it's too late. I itched it. And then the swelling started. I thought i was having some sort of horrible fast acting yeast infection maybe? No other adverse symptoms one would expect with a yeast infection though - you all know what I mean. So i rush to the pharmacy to buy every cream they sell under the sun for sore, itchy lady bits. Nothing helped but time and soaking in cold water. This is hell. Absolute hell. I even may have accused my obsessively faithful partner of stepping out and bringing something home - mostly joking but 10% not, if I'm going to be honest. I went to the doctor and had a pap, just because you don't take chances with the queen. If something ain't right, you better fix it. But no, everything checks out. Doctor suggested it might be bleach from cheap toiletpaper or something. So i religiously avoid all public bathrooms, i shower like a crazy person, i only use tp from home and everything seems to be back to normal. HOORAAAY! The queen lives to fight another day! It's really too bad i never considered it might be these wipes. Because i used one again today. I don't want to give you TOO much of a mental picture here, but let's just say things aren't looking good right now. The itching and swelling is HORRIBLE. I'm currently sitting a$$ deep in cold water, crying softly to myself while i curse the day this company was founded. I checked the ingredients - nothing to be worried about there, so i started googling adverse reactions and there's NOTHING. I eventually end up on the company website and dig down to find their ingredients list and lo and behold, there's ALMOND OIL in these f'ers!! it's not on the package. and i guess it's not a big deal UNLESS YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO ALMONDS AND THEN RUB THESE SERVIETTES OF SATAN ALL OVER YOUR COOTER! WHAT KIND OF COMPANY USES NUT PRODUCTS AND DOESN'T DISCLOSE THEY USE NUT PRODUCTS? If you have any nut allergies, I recommend staying FAR away from these. You don't want any of this action, I promise.
